toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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