just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
