carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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