we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
