Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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