I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
