so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
