I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
