Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
