After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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