...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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