I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
