yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
