I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
