He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
