RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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