I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
