dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
