can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
