I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
