Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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