Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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