we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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