butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
