Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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