Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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