i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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