On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
