I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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