I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We are two peas in an std pod
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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