Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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