Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
