Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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