the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
