the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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