Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
