There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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