So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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