I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
