I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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