She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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