he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
