1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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