Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He shit in the fireplace
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
