remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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