Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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