I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize