I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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