I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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