chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we made out on top of his cat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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