I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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