Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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