i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
