Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We just shotgunned beers for America
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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