I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
