i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
