I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize