guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
