Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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