weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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