Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize