my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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