According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
