I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
