hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
