I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
