IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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