it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
